MEL

I am married to a Joseph- both literally and figuratively.  Saint Joseph is my husband’s namesake, but I also believe he embodies many of his attributes. 

St. Joseph is mentioned so few times in the bible, it almost feels like he is a minor character rather than a supporting member of the holy family.  In fact, we hear nothing of St. Joseph after Jesus is the age of 12 in the New Testament.  I would argue, however, that Joseph’s lacking recognition is what makes him so special.  If you think about it, St. Joseph was a trailblazer. 

It has been said that Jesus’ treatment and inclusion of women was upside down for that time, but now I’m realizing that St. Joseph’s eternal support of Mary is equally as impressive. 

How many men are strong enough, to sit by the sidelines while their wife obtains ultimate celebrity status.  At her death, Mary’s body was assumed into Heaven to be reunited with her soul.  As for Joseph?  Well, we don’t even really know when he died. 

“A carpenter, good and just,” is all we really hear about St. Joseph but what else is really needed?  He was good enough for God to choose as the husband of Mary and foster father to Jesus as well as their protector.  I don’t think you could ask for a greater compliment.       

St. Joseph descended from the royal house of David and the grace in which he responds to his calling proves he is truly regal.  St. Joseph gives dignity to those in the background.  Proving you do not need to take center stage to change the world, you can simply do your part to support those who do. 

Now I am far from in the spotlight, and make no claim to change the world, but my husband very much selflessly supports me. 

Through my intent this Lenten season to reignite my faith, it is thanks to my husband’s support that I am able to do so.  I have invested much time in this endeavor, spending hours a day reading, writing, reflecting, praying, and researching.  Meanwhile, it is my husband giving up every spare minute he has, curtailing our children so that I am able to do so.  Typically, our nighttime routine consists of me on my laptop while he’s walking circles around the house carrying a fussy baby.  If roles were reversed, I wonder if I would do the same for him.       

There is something so quietly impressive about a man who expects no recognition. A man famous for being kind, patient, and gentle.  Perhaps that is why in 1870 Pope Pius IX rewarded St. Joseph, proclaiming him as Patron of the Universal Church, and also why millions of people devoutly pray for St. Joseph’s intercession. 

Often times we think that the qualities of the saints are too far out of reach for us to emulate, but it’s the sentiment that matters.  Just as St. Thérèse of Lisieux preached of the “Little Way,” we can all take small steps, with great love, towards the spiritual life God wants for us.  Afterall, St. Joseph was just a man, who said “yes”, and the rest is history.  I am honored to have St. Joseph as patron saint of my parish, and I am blessed to have a Joseph for my husband.

I’m sure many people share my love affair with sleep.  I wish I could be one those superhuman like individuals that can function on low amounts of sleep, but I am on the other end of that spectrum.  I love sleep, and we have a joke in my family we say to couples pre-baby arrival, “You don’t even know what tired is!”    

How many times have we made promises to ourselves that include some type of condition?  For instance- If I wake up early enough or if everything works out, I will do XYZ. 

I have previously mentioned my affinity towards 7:00 am weekday mass, but lately I have not been meeting my conditions in going.  Last week I casually prayed to Mary and said, “If you help my baby go to bed at a reasonable hour, and then have him wake up to be fed in time, I will go to mass in the morning.”  Welp, don’t threaten Mary with a good time because she of course delivered and I in turn went to mass in the morning. 

A few days later it was the same scenario.  As I fed my baby in the rocking chair looking at the time and realizing I could easily make it to mass if I didn’t go back to bed, I began making up excuses in my head not to.  “I already went this week,” I told myself, plus I was so tired!  In fact, I resided to not going as I put my sleeping baby back in his crib.  Funny enough though, just as my head hit the pillow he woke up and I knew Mary was nudging me to go.  “Alright, alright already Mary!  I’ll go!” 

So that’s the story of how I went to mass last week, riveting I know.  I guess the point is, next time you are trying to get something done, ask for a little holy help, better yet set a holy alarm clock.  They won’t let you hit the snooze button. 

We all know Saint Patrick, beloved saint worldwide, captured into slavery and responsible for Christianizing Ireland.  On March 17^th, Irish or not, we all love to celebrate in his name.  We have heard the stories of snakes and clovers, most likely exaggerated over the years, but for one of the world’s best-known saints, how much do we really know of his true self?  

Where we learn the most about Saint Patrick as a person stems from his two writings: Confessio and a Letter to the Soldiers of Coroticus. 

What I find so amazing, is that at a time in history filled with power-hungry men, obsessed with their legacy, and trying to conquer the world (essentially selling their souls to the devil in trying to do so) a lowly country-boy is the one that millions still praise a millennium later.  Funny how that works out. 

Saint Patrick was a shepherd, both in the literal and figurative sense.  It was his job while he was enslaved, and we see him grieve over the loss of the newly baptized members of his flock, which were slaughtered by Coroticus.  Saint Patrick lived in constant peril and poverty.    

In reading the writings of Saint Patrick his humility becomes abundantly apparent.  He recognizes his shortcomings in education and is well-aware of his constant scrutiny by his superiors.  He is not a man who set out to make a name for himself, he simply answered a call from God.  He often refers to himself as a sinner, and diverts any credit for his accomplishments away from himself and back towards God.     

Growing up he never dreamed he would become a bishop and it was probably because of his kind and humble nature that God chose him.  It is truly amazing what we can become when we surrender ourselves to God’s plan.  What courage Saint Patrick must have had, upon finally being reunited with his family after escaping slavery to willingly return to that land that held him captive in order to do God’s work.    

I smile and picture Saint Patrick up in heaven today blushing at the sight of all the flashy parades and parties in his name.  What would he think of such a spectacle?  Are the other saints teasing him?  Is God getting a good chuckle? 

So, since everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day (including St. Patrick), grab your Guinness and give a cheers to the man who wanted no notoriety, yet became one of the most notorious men in history.        

Read St. Patrick’s Confessio here.

Today I read Matthew Kelly’s quick read: Rediscover the Saints: Twenty-five questions that will change your life.  It was very helpful and gave me a much-needed make-over in how I view the saints.  Let me explain. 

What’s the first word you think of when you hear the words “saints?”  If you’re a sports addict like my husband, you might jokingly say “football.”  In all seriousness though, you might say something like:

• Holy
• God’s Friends
• Halo
• Models
• Francis, Patrick, Mother Theresa

I however said “suffering.”  Maybe it’s just me?

Honestly what I most remember learning about saints growing up is that they were either martyrs or suffered very tragic and painful deaths or very horrible things happened to them.  Perhaps this stands out to me because it would leave me thinking, “Why would anyone want this?” 

I also think this word sticks with me because of the visual portrayal that’s typically used for saints.  When I look through my prayer cards and religious figures, they look somber at best, depressing at worst.  I mean they don’t exactly give off a “Marie Kondo” sort of vibe.  Seriously, if you’re an artist looking for an untapped market, please give these good people the visual representation they deserve!

In his book, Matthew Kelly questions, “How many parents hope and pray their children will grow up to become saints?” (p. 85) Honestly this thought has never crossed my mind.  I pray for my children to be happy, healthy, and safe and those aren’t things I naturally associate with saints.  So clearly, I have a dysfunctional mindset when it comes to sainthood and I desperately needed to read this book.  In honor of the 12 apostles, here are my top 12 take-aways.     

1.  We put saints up on a pedestal to separate ourselves from them, so that we can remain complacent.  In reality, the saints were just ordinary people changing the world, one holy moment at a time.  We need to stop having such a narrow and restrictive views of saints.    
2. God simply wants us to become the best version of ourselves.  Our religion is the most tried and true method of obtaining this. 
3. Never trust an easy path and comfort can be a slippery slope. Teresa of Avila said “Our body has this defect that, the more it is provided care and comforts, the more needs and desires it finds.” (p. 30)
4. Saints lived their lives in the fullest, most efficient manner.  They understood our physical lives are short and we should not waste our time here. 
5. Spend time with the poor.  There is no relationship with God without having a relationship with the poor.   
6. Many saints had friends, siblings or parents who were saints.  Holiness is contagious.
7. Doubt is not necessarily bad.  In fact, doubt can help deepen our faith. 
8. The saints were kings and queens of continuous learning, best practices, emotional intelligence, routines, and rituals. 
9. God chooses the most unlikely to do his work, and the saints chose to surrender to this calling. 
10. The saints make up the most diverse group in history, all coming from different walks of life, but all have one thing in common: prayer.    
11. It is possible to be both critical and faithful to the church at the same time.    
12. All Saints Day does not just recognize those who have been canonized, but all those who have attained heaven. 

As always, Matthew Kelly made some excellent points.  A lot that I needed to hear and be reminded of. 

Each chapter also included a themed prayer, so I will end with the one that resonated with me the most: 

Lord,

I am open to your possibilities.  Please fill me with the wisdom, grace and courage I need to step out of my self-imposed limitations and live in your possibilities. 

Amen

p. 72

If you could write a letter to God, what would it say? 

If Immaculée Ilibagiza’s story has not impressed you enough at this point, wait until you hear this.  After finishing her manuscript, she met the man who would help publish it, just three days after writing a letter to God.  Talk about ask and you shall receive!    

Dear Lord,

Thanks for helping me finish the manuscript.  I hope it’s what You had in mind.  But now that it’s done, You have to find someone to print it and then put it in the window display at Barnes & Noble.  This is really Your story more than mine, and I’m looking forward to reading it once You have made it into a book. 

Thank You again God.

Your loving daughter,

Immaculée

Led by faith p. 186

I must say I love her directness.  I mean God is a busy man so we should be respectful of his time. 

So, let’s deconstruct this letter into three parts. 

1. Gratitude
2. Specific ask
3. Visualization of fruition

I for one am going to try this.  I mean we remember more of what we write, so maybe we pray better in written form as well?  I have been told I make a great pen pal, so bring out the stationary! 

As for now, my letter will remain confidential with God, but I promise to post it as soon as I have the number one Catholic blog in the country!    

I am opening the flood gates for a topic I would like to understand more about, Marian apparitions. 

You will find shrines built in honor of Marian apparitions all over the world.  This can leave one contemplating the authenticity of these great claims.  However, the Vatican is very slow to judge apparition claims as we can see by the almost 300 years it took to approve those from Our Lady of Laus in France.  The process starts with approval from the local bishop where the apparition took place.  The process includes examination of witnesses and visionaries as well as an evaluation of their mental and spiritual health.  Time is also required to determine the fruits of the apparition and any cases of conversion, miracles or healing to take place.

Ultimately there are bishop recognized apparitions and Vatican recognized apparitions.  Originally, I tried compiling a list of church approved Marian apparitions but that quickly became frustrating as I kept finding discrepancies on either the classification or details of the events.

I think it is important to note that the church does not require the faithful to believe in these apparitions.  We live in a world that demands concrete evidence, and when dealing with spiritual phenomenon it is not so black and white.  I also think it is important to remember that the list of church-recognized Marian apparitions is in no way complete.  Just as the church may never recognize the saintliest souls as “saints,” the church may never recognize or perhaps even know about legitimate apparitions.     

Typically, the visionaries are children which remains consistent with Jesus’s fondness for them in the bible. 

Let the children come to me and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these

Luke 18:16

What I find interesting in Marian apparitions is that there is typically an urge to pray the rosary for the conversion of sinners.  Now some of us might say, what do I care about sinners?  One’s eternal fate is one’s own business.”  Except the actions of grave sinners often do have a direction correlation to us here on earth which brings me to my next part. 

There is also frequently a foreshadowing of a horrific event, it seems Heaven is trying to prevent.  We see this in Fatima Portugal in 1917, prophesizing WWII as well as the perils of Communism in Russia.  We also see this in Kibeho, Rwanda in the 1980’s before the genocide. 

When grave sins against humanity occur, we often turn away from God, angry that he allowed this to happen.  Although perhaps he is sending his Ambassador, Mary, to try to assemble an army of good against evil.  Maybe the only way to fight evil is with prayer and our complacency is part of the problem.  Maybe we are so preoccupied with ourselves, we fail to see the blinding danger the actions of others can have on us.  As with everything else in our society, we tend to be reactive rather than proactive and frankly until injustice is happening to us, we just don’t care that much.  I mean we care enough to avoid the topic or change the news channel because it’s just too sad to think about.  Realistically, a full rosary can be said in 15 minutes, and most of us cannot even be bothered to pray that in a day.    

So, what started as a sort of fact-checking of Marian apparitions, leaves me with this.  Rather than evaluating the “how,” we should start asking the “why” of Marian apparitions.  Perhaps if we do, we won’t have to change the news channel because God’s people might actually be at peace with one another.  Pipedream yes, but you know what they say about that butterfly effect…    

I don’t think I had ever heard of St. Philomena before the days of April 7, 2016.  That is when our daughter London was admitted into the PICU and we frantically began searching for the right patron saint to pray for her intercession.  We quickly came across St. Philomena, patron saint of infants, babies and youth and began to pray fervently.  Family members across the country visited churches of St. Philomena in Peoria, Chicago and New Jersey to light candles.  Near the very end of London’s life, I swear I felt a holy, calming presence that I resolved to be St. Philomena.  However, after returning home without my baby, I felt abandoned by St. Philomena, or worse, duped by her mere existence. 

Oftentimes I have been told to pay attention when you open a book of faith, that your focus will be directed intentionally.  As I have been reading my grandmother’s Dictionary of Saints, I keep finding myself opening to the page of St. Philomena.  Also, when scanning the “saints” section in my Hallow App my eyes seem to always locate the St. Philomena tab, or names associated with her such as John Vianney and Padre Pio.  Therefore, I have been motivated to further investigate this topic.    

If you begin researching St. Philomena online, you will find varying information.  She is a topic of controversy and was removed from the calendar of the saints in 1961.  Her story makes some bold claims including survival of three assassination attempts that were curtailed by angels before her ultimate beheading.  The bare minimum that seems to be agreed upon is the following.  In 1802, the bones of a teenage girl were found under tiles that read, “Peace be with you, Philomena,” along with a symbol of a palm and a vial of dried blood (both symbolizing martyrdom).  Once her bones were exhumed miracles began happening and her final resting place is the Shrine at Our Lady of Grace Church in Mugnano, Italy. 

The interesting thing is that although there have been countless miracles associated with Philomena as well as revelations detailing her life to multiple holy people, there really is no concrete evidence of her earthly life.  Lack of proof is hard for people, myself included, which is why I have spent the day fact-checking Philomena and trying to find proof.  The story goes that Mary said to John Vianney in a vision, “To Philomena, nothing is refused.”  I’m not going to lie, this makes me rather salty, because 7 years ago, I would claim that I was refused.  Although I now feel a sort of kinship with Philomena on premise of never getting to tell her story.  This seems to parallel the lives of babies taken too soon who never had the opportunity to live out their earthly lives and therefore tell their story.  Maybe THAT is what she needs to be the patron saint of.    

After spending the day wondering about the authenticity of her various life details, I’m left to the conclusion that, maybe we were meant to wonder for a purpose.  Maybe her mystery is what makes her so popular.  If millions of people worldwide have prayed to Philomena and found refuge, then that’s proof enough for me.  In fact, mystery is fitting for Philomena, as she is the protectress of the living rosary (which contains 20 mysteries).  On that note, let me go find 19 other women and get my own living rosary group going!    

I have this fantasy where I become a minimalist, purge all my clutter and enjoy the ease of maintaining a simple home.  Yet, every time I start the process, I end up just finding ways to organize and fit more stuff into drawers and cabinets, because, you know, I might need that hula hoop one day!

I excuse my hoarding primarily on two accounts.  First, I don’t like to be wasteful, so if I am going to get rid of something I need to make sure I do it in the most purposeful way possible.  This takes time and energy.  Second, I’m a creator, I can make anything out of anything, and therefore my craft supply storage is bursting at the seams. 

There is a quote I frequently try to remind myself of.

Look around.  All that clutter used to be money.  All that money used to be time.

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I know the best way to declutter is to not buy and accumulate in the first place, still practicing self control at HomeGoods is easier said than done!    

My favorite place to donate goods to is through St. Vincent de Paul.  I just feel that they probably do a better job in serving our neighbors than other organizations do.  So much in fact that I constantly check the bulletin so I can mark my calendar once a drive is announced.  Then I start keeping an eye out for items in my house I can part with and load up boxes.  Still, this is actually a very stressful process for me in parting with my things and playing the “I might need that” game.  What I find interesting though, is that if I knew of someone personally who was in need, I would have no problem sharing my possessions with them, yet somehow me not knowing who it will go to makes the process harder.  Perhaps I just need to pray that each item finds its way to the person who needs it the most.    

I also wanted to learn more about the organization and its patron. 

St. Vincent de Paul (c. 1580-1660) is the patron saint of charitable groups.  In short, he began as a minister to galley slaves before forming the Congregation of the Mission (now known as the Vincentians) which focused on missionary work among the peasants.  St. Vincent de Paul worked to establish new seminaries, improve priest formation, and offer relief to war victims abroad.  He devoted his life to alleviate human suffering.    

Delaney, John.  Dictionary of Saints.  New York, Doubleday, 1980. (p. 576)    

What stands out about the Society of St. Vincent de Paul, is the person-to-person service offered to those in need.  They offer a wide range of services which are personally tailored to the individual in a way that helps maintain their dignity.

The Society of St. Vincent de Paul.  About Us, 2023,    ssvpusa.org/about-us/.  Accessed 11 March, 2023. 

I am hoping with my newfound knowledge I can work towards reducing my hoarding tendencies.    Perhaps St. Vincent de Paul himself can lead me towards what to donate.  Therefore, I will close with this prayer.       

“God, You gave St, Vincent de Paul apostolic virtues for the salvation of the poor and the formation of the clergy.  Grant that, endowed with the same spirit, we may love what he loved and act according to his teaching.  Amen.” 

Hoever, Hugo.  Lives of the Saints.  New York, Catholic Book Publishing Co., 1977. (395)