It has been said that Catholic guilt is the excess of healthy guilt. Which is not horrible, but perhaps not necessary either. Everyone has a conscience prompting them to do the right thing, maybe though in the Catholic church ours is just putting in too much overtime.
The number of things I can feel guilty from in a day is never ending. I can go to church but then feel guilty that I didn’t pay close enough attention. I can donate money but feel guilty that I didn’t donate more. I can pray the Rosary but then feel guilty for not saying it two times, three times, etc. Essentially there is always guilt because you can always do more.
This really stood out to me at the beginning of Lent when we prayed the Litany of Humility. In listening to some of the lines, my heart was just not in it. I was trying to say the words but felt like an imposter because I knew full well that I would never make good on what I was praying. Frankly, I just viewed it as too unrealistic.
“From the desire of being loved…Deliver me, Jesus.”
“That others may be preferred to me in everything…Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.”
It made more sense to me the next day when Jim Caviezel quoted an excerpt from The Imitation of Christ: “Do not be detoured, nor quickly cast down when you hear about the way of the perfect. Rather be inspired to reach great heights or at least aspire to attain them.” (Book 3, Chapter 32, Section 3)
To me it seems like a ‘shoot for the moon, land among the stars’ type of thing.
We all know the Catholic church has a broad set of “rules.” As a teacher I view it as if God is a professor with a very detailed outline of his course syllabus, accounting for every possible scenario. For those in education today can attest no one can be held accountable for anything if it was not clearly put into writing on day one.
So why is it said that Catholics experience the most guilt? I think it stems from when we are young, we take everything at face value. We are told, you need to follow the bible and the ten commandments to go to Heaven. De facto, if you stray from this, you go to hell. Our brains are not fully capable of abstract learning until well into our teens. By that time so much of our faith has already been ingrained into our heads, thus causing the feelings of guilt anytime you stray from perfection (which as humans is constant).
Again, as a teacher I would question if the model of the catholic church is effective? I think many would argue that the fear of hell is in fact effective in dissuading the faithful from committing a vast array of sins. My second question would be, is there a better “carrot” to motivate the faithful. As Catholics do we focus too much on negative reinforcement versus positive? Ultimately, what do we want our students to do and how can be best motivate them?
Still, it’s hard for me to imagine the opposite end of the spectrum. A guilt-free religion seems too complacent if you completely remove the struggle. It is definitely a fine line, as you want to simultaneously enjoy the fruits of your labor, while still doing God’s work. Afterall, even Immaculée Ilibagiza allowed herself a personal allowance after giving most of her money to her aunts, brother and the orphans.
“Besides, what was wrong with dressing up? I knew that God wanted me to feel happy.”
LEd by Faith p. 104
So how do we combat the “Catholic guilt” and why does it seem to plague some of us more than others? Is it specific to our personal upbringing or does it have to do with how our individual brains are wired? Perhaps we all just need to take the standards of the church with a grain of salt. Maybe we don’t need to be perfectionists but simply life-long learners. Afterall, if gluttony is a grave sin, then we should take that as an order to trim the excess guilt!