This week’s Sunday Reflection on the Hallow App focused on learning how to pray.

As a little girl I remember laying in bed at night and saying the Our Father, Hail Mary and Guardian Angel prayer, (always in that order).  I remember talking to God, and that the last thing I said was always, “help me fall asleep quickly.”  What I also remember is not being able to fall asleep if I didn’t pray.  If I were tired and told myself I would skip my prayers, it just didn’t work.  I always ended up saying them before I fell asleep.  I’m not sure when this phenomenon faded in my life, but I can tell you that at some point growing up, I lost it.   

Father Jeff spoke today about how as Catholics we are often not taught how to pray but how to repeat.  We memorize many prayers but that doesn’t necessarily mean we know how to pray.  He tells us the three pillars of prayer are to be consistent, persistent, and personal.    

I can tell you since London died, I have really struggled with how to pray.  Like I have been searching for clarity to pray in a way that made sense to me.  I prayed for London to live, and she did not, therefore I felt like I could never pray in a way that was asking God for something ever again.  That leaves out a lot.  The only powers of prayer I believed in for a long time were that of comfort and peace. 

I felt like while listening to Immaculée Ilibagiza pray in her book, Left to Tell, I was learning how to pray again.  Immaculée was definitely consistent, persistent and personal in her prayers.  I took note of how she talked to God throughout the day, asking him for specific guidance.  She didn’t just ask God to save her, she asked Him to blind the killers, put an idea in her head, use her as His instrument.  She was an active participant in her conversations with God.    

What she said at the end is what resonates with me the most, “The love of a single heart can make a world of difference.  I believe that we can heal Rwanda and our world, by healing one heart at a time.” 

Suddenly it all made sense to me: Love.  Praying for love is something I can passionately believe in.  I now believe that in praying for love we can lessen the hatred in people’s hearts.  We can productively change the world for the better. 

While reading about the Rwandan genocide I kept thinking about the apparitions of the Virgin Mary to the children at Fatima in Portugal 1917.  The Our Lady of Fatima Miracle prophesied many crimes against humanity.  Mary called on us for acts of prayer and sacrifice to save souls, emphasizing praying the rosary. 

Thinking of the awful atrocities of humanity throughout the world are what would defeat me the most.  Now I realize I should take that as my calling of what to pray for.  Sometimes when I watch the news it seems like this world never learns and we just continue to hurt each other.  Although someone told me once that he studied a timeline trajectory of humanity and we are in fact getting kinder, even if it doesn’t always seem so.  Perhaps if we can all learn to pray a little better we could use our love to drive out the hate a little faster.