I know our family is not typical. Most children don’t have any real associations with death until their grandparents die later in life, or they experience the loss of a pet. Most kids don’t have “baby big sisters” in Heaven. Most parents don’t have to stress about explaining death and what words to use and how much detail to include and what’s age appropriate and so on. We do.
I have spent a great deal of time wondering what is the “right” way to handle raising boys with angel sisters. Am I making them weird? Will they get made fun of? Are they going to have a complex? Thus far I have tried to keep it light, but consistent. Meaning when my boys look back, I never want them to remember a time we didn’t talk about it. By making it something that’s as normal to their family unit as having a Papa or a Grandpa, I’m hoping will better help them process everything in the long term.
I admit the concept of the cemetery and burials is something I haven’t spoken much on yet. My older son, MJ, has been to the cemetery, but all I really say is that we are going to a special place for his sisters. Sometimes finding the words is hard, and other times, the words come straight to you.
On London’s birthday this past week we were driving home from our ‘family day’ in the city. Sitting in the back seat MJ exclaims, “Look! A praying garden!”
“What did you say? A playing garden?” I asked. (Sometimes MJ can be a little hard to understand).
“No! A PRAYING garden!” he annunciated.
When I realized, he was pointing to a cemetery my heart melted. What a perfect, beautiful way to describe it. I tried asking him where he heard that term before, but he didn’t pay any attention.
“A praying garden.” I thought to myself. “I wish I could patent that phrase.”
I mean considering what day it was, I think it’s obvious where he came up with that phrase.
I confess that at times the morbidity of it all makes me avoid the cemetery. Maybe that’s why London coined the phrase, ‘praying garden.’ Who would want to miss out on that? It sounds lovely! And in reality, it is. A sacred place that is an extension of the Catholic Church. Consecrated grounds that ensure those together in life can also be together in death. A beautiful reminder of the promise of the resurrection.
I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me will never die.
John 11:25-26
So, feel free to use ‘praying garden’ in your own life. Just make sure to say, “Copyright Baby London” afterwards. After all, we must give credit where credit is due.